You need a landscaper when

  1. You cannot see the bottom of the garden due to the length of the grass
  2. The wife refuses to talk to you after being moaned at for 2 years about landscaping
  3. You have a tree too close to the house that blocks your sunlight
  4. You always have fancied clearing some bushes back to make a play area
  5. The trees are too close to the house and you are being refused buildings insurance due to this
  6. You think you deserve to smarten up your garden but never have the time
  7. you have moved into a new house and do not have time to landscape the gardens
  8. Your mum wants you to tidy up her garden but you do not have time
  9. Your lawn is patchy and unappealing so you want to have it professionally re-laid
  10. You really like your neighbours but you do not like them looking over the fence at you while you are in your hot tub. So a nice new fence could hide your modesty and give you a bit of privacy
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